Thursday, November 25, 2010

NO! - seems to be the hardest word

Hello, my name is Brigid. And I have a problem. I can't seem to say 'no'. I can hear you sniggering at the back! Well that is true too but that is the topic for a different blog. But you know what I mean... every time someone asks me to do something my automatic response is 'yes' or 'of course' or 'no problem'. Even if it is a problem. Even if it means staying late, or adding an hour on my commute or giving up precious writing time. Even then I still find my knee jerk response is 'yes'.

I have been thinking about this... why is 'no' such a hard thing to say? It is two letters, one letter less than 'yes'. Ok so it can be a tad blunt when said outright, but sometimes for one's own sanity it must be said.

I am thinking of setting up a support group where we role play saying 'no' so it becomes more reflexive. Scenarios will include when your parents/relatives/annoying acquaintances want to come and stay. When your boss asks you "could you just...". When the person on the end of the phone is trying to sell you something you don't need. Scenarios we can add to ad infinitum. We would pour wine (this is the only time you have to say yes) and try and say 'no' without apologising (advanced class only). But what would we call ourselves? Acquiescence Anonymous?? Agreers Anonymous?? The Yes Men? Or The No Bodies (showing our non-affirmative action)??

So who is with me? Who is willing to stand up and say 'NO!'?*

*except when it comes to a really nice bottle of wine, or some chocolate or that REALLY hot guy, you know the one... or of course my book. These scenarios will NEVER be a part of the group**
** unless of course you are an alcoholic, on a diet or married

Come back on Sunday to find out what Susanna has to say (hopefully she won't say no)


  1. It's been a good week - has it? Saying no is a good thing to learn...still working on it including saying no to that last glass of wine...

  2. Week, month, year, life time... delete as applicable. You can't practice on the last glass of wine, impossible!

  3. I love all those titles, Biddy, and I'll join up for sure! Can't say no either! You're right, it's so difficult.

    I'm definitely not saying no to chocolate though, ever. Not possible.

  4. Acquiescence Anonymous, definitely. Who's hosting the first meeting? (I vote we start near the lane where Liz bumped into Paul Bettany...) (Or at Brigid's flat) (With wine).

    But I'm the same, I simply can't say 'no', even when I'm up to my eyeballs in work and approaching a deadline and totally knackered.
    It somehow seems selfish.

    It must be a recessive gene that's carried on the X chromosome...

  5. I have the same problem, so I'm in. I'll even bring the chocolate!