I have been debating what to write this post about and obviously didn't come to a decision until too late to post on time...but I thought I might share the state of my head at the moment. As you can see from the title it's a bit more the scattered.
My brood have all been with me for Easter which has been wonderful and distracting to the extreme....but confession I have given in to it too. The really bad news is that I can't afford to.
I am at the 1/4 done mark with book two and feel frozen. I haven't wanted to move forward queue fear and when I think of the deadline queue panic which then brings about the loathing - self loathing. Now trying to look at this objectively, I have watched friends work through this. But I am really in a tricky state as because of my crazy life I can't leave things to the last minutes because last minutes don't actually exist in my life...it's just a series of last minutes. It's not just my writing...it's tax issues, articles, invites, health and health forms...and more. The stress building up inside is getting impossible to live with and sadly true i sat in the garden last night thinking it would be easier to keel over with a heart attack than try and do everything on the list let alone do it well...cue sharp pains across the chest.
Quite frankly I'm not sure what to do. In the past I would have pick the easiest to accomplish item out of the list and do that which would break the dead lock but I don't think that would work this time. It seems I try and the task just becomes more complicated.......I would say I'm making things worse for myself but to be honest it seems to be doing that on its own...so I'm stuck and I don't know what to do since dropping dead isn't an options....suggestions will be gratefully received.
On a lighter note i was reading through blogs and I saw something that triggered a memory...a far distant one of meeting Carl Yastrezemski at my uncle's house. Now unless you grew up in Boston and were a fan of the Red Sox would mean much to you but for me it rates up there with have Larry Bird tell bouncers at a Boston club to let my friend and I in and when Kevin McHale hoisted DS1 onto his shoulders...I suppose my biggest famous person meeting though was the fabulous Bob Hope....
Now to finish packing for flight to UK tomorrow and decision of what to pack and more importantly what to wear to important press evening on Wednesday night....
Come back on Thursday when i'm sure Biddy will be in a more bouncy mood...
My brood have all been with me for Easter which has been wonderful and distracting to the extreme....but confession I have given in to it too. The really bad news is that I can't afford to.
I am at the 1/4 done mark with book two and feel frozen. I haven't wanted to move forward queue fear and when I think of the deadline queue panic which then brings about the loathing - self loathing. Now trying to look at this objectively, I have watched friends work through this. But I am really in a tricky state as because of my crazy life I can't leave things to the last minutes because last minutes don't actually exist in my life...it's just a series of last minutes. It's not just my writing...it's tax issues, articles, invites, health and health forms...and more. The stress building up inside is getting impossible to live with and sadly true i sat in the garden last night thinking it would be easier to keel over with a heart attack than try and do everything on the list let alone do it well...cue sharp pains across the chest.
Quite frankly I'm not sure what to do. In the past I would have pick the easiest to accomplish item out of the list and do that which would break the dead lock but I don't think that would work this time. It seems I try and the task just becomes more complicated.......I would say I'm making things worse for myself but to be honest it seems to be doing that on its own...so I'm stuck and I don't know what to do since dropping dead isn't an options....suggestions will be gratefully received.
On a lighter note i was reading through blogs and I saw something that triggered a memory...a far distant one of meeting Carl Yastrezemski at my uncle's house. Now unless you grew up in Boston and were a fan of the Red Sox would mean much to you but for me it rates up there with have Larry Bird tell bouncers at a Boston club to let my friend and I in and when Kevin McHale hoisted DS1 onto his shoulders...I suppose my biggest famous person meeting though was the fabulous Bob Hope....
Now to finish packing for flight to UK tomorrow and decision of what to pack and more importantly what to wear to important press evening on Wednesday night....
Come back on Thursday when i'm sure Biddy will be in a more bouncy mood...
You know that I've been there, Liz. It's the combination of your longed-for wish coming true and the pressure that brings. A real example of 'careful of what you wish for', I kept thinking when I was there. The only advice I can give is to take a deep breath and stick with it and do remember that you're not alone - those of us who've been there will be willing you on. You'll get there, I promise. Cx
ReplyDeleteThank you Chris...you support means the world!
ReplyDeletelx
I'm sure you'll get there too, Liz, you just have to do one thing at a time and it will all be done somehow. If you're stuck in one section of your WIP, I would move on to another bit that's easier to write and then go back to the other one later. And remember, you've already written one brilliant book which means you can definitely do it again, we know you can! xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Pia!
ReplyDeletelx
I so understand what you feel, Liz. There's so much to do in the way of advance promotion for the first book that it makes it hard to spend a stretch of quality time on the second book.
ReplyDeleteBefore the first book is accepted, there's no such thing as a deadline and you can deal with all the (usually lovely) things that life throws at you as they come along, but all that changes with the second book, and the deadline for it hangs over your head in a way that you wouldn't have believed possible.
And then there's the family and all the (again, usually lovely) demands that brings with it...
Is it a pressured time, awiting for the first book to come out while working on the second? Yes.
Would I go back to being unpublished? No, not for a second. And I'm sure you feel the same.
Liz X
No, I wouldn't go back Liz, but I think I might need a time management course...hoping that from Friday onwards I will find my lost focus and make some progress on the list....
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your book two!
lx
Bit by bit. Christina's advice is spot-on. And if you need to be selfish, and lock yourself away for a few days, or even a few weeks...that's okay. Do it. (You've allowed me to do the same.)
ReplyDeleteIt's completely a normal way to feel. And you can, if you choose and you need, ask your agent and editor for advice. They don't mind. Just don't let the advice stress you out even more...
Having just read A CORNISH HOUSE, I know you can do it. Deep breaths. We all have this panic, sometimes.
I know where you're coming from, and I can only repeat what others have said: it's a case of one step at a time. There will be days when you're endlessly just crossing things off on a list as long as an arm, which is enough to make even the strongest individual stressed and depressed (along the lines of, "Is this really all there is to life?").
ReplyDeleteBut it's means you're slowly getting through it and can therefore take a day or two to catch your breath later.
Until the whole cycle starts all over again :-)